Easter 6, Year B 2024: 1 John 5:1-6 and John 15:9-17

In 1976, Paul and Linda McCartney wrote Silly Love Songs. It’s not a profound song. If you haven’t heard it, the title of the song is enough information. And it isn’t meant to be profound. That’s kind of the genius of it. It’s purposefully silly, tongue-in-cheek, maybe even bad, but it is at least enjoyable. The McCartneys wrote it in response to accusations by either the press or by John Lennon - depending on who you ask - that all Paul wrote were “silly love songs” and “sentimental slush”. In response, Paul and Linda wrote it as a commentary on his critics, while inviting his audience to laugh at him with him. It’s quite clever. And part of why it works is, for as much time as we spend thinking about love and relationships, we aren’t great at describing what love is.

First John’s Epistle is widely seen as a commentary on the Gospel of John. It’s not really a letter, but more of an essay or a homily. Scholars are wishy-washy about whether the Epistle and Gospel have the same author, but they at least agree they’re from the same community at around the same time. If you read First John straight through, it reads like a Cliff’s Notes or Spark Notes of the Gospel of John, where it misses some things and is a little off on others, but if you only have half an hour you can get the major themes of the Gospel in the five chapters of First John.

In both books, there is much talk of love. Now, the word “love” in English does a lot of heavy lifting in a lot of areas. I looked it up in the dictionary and found 14 different definitions ranging from the score of zero in tennis to a strong enthusiasm or liking of anything, to active, self-giving concern for the well-being of others, to the benevolent affection and deep compassion of God for all creatures. So “love” can mean something anywhere between nothing and everything. In English, it’s the context that matters. But in scripture, the Greek words themselves are more descriptive,  utilizing several different words that we translate simply carte blanche as “love”. The ancient Greeks had eight different words that can all be translated “love”. For example, “philio” is companionable love, based in deep friendship. Modern English speakers often think of “philio” as less than “eros”, or erotic love, because we equate “eros” with a marriage type of love, but the ancient Greeks considered “eros” to be dangerous and frightening because it involves a “loss of control” through the primal impulse to procreate. Eros is a powerful fire that burns out quickly. It needs its flame to be fanned through one of the other forms of love as it is considered to be centered around the selfish aspects of love. Ancient Greeks valued “philio” above “eros” because “philio” was considered a love between equals. You can “eros” someone who doesn’t “eros” you back, but if you “philio” someone, you have history. You’ve been through some stuff together. It’s almost by definition reciprocal. But by and large, the word we find most frequently in scripture is “agape”, which is unconditional, sacrificial love. It is not sentimental nor conditional. Agape is the love that is felt for that which we know as the divine truth: the love that accepts, forgives and believes in our greater good. In both our Epistle and Gospel reading, every time the word “love” appears, it is referring to “agape”. Scripture doesn’t sentimentalize love the way we do. That is, it doesn’t treat love as a feeling, but as an action. Agape is always coupled with how we are to demonstrate that love. 

Both of our lessons from John today come to the same conclusion about how we demonstrate our “agape” for God: by obeying God’s commandments. In the Gospel lesson Jesus instructs the disciples to obey his commandments. And since John’s Christology proclaims that Jesus is God, both lessons are saying the same thing: obey God’s commandments. In Chapter 3 of First John the author  writes, “We know his love by this, that he laid down his life for us - and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world's good and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech but in truth and action.” Which sounds an awful lot like what Jesus says in today’s Gospel lesson, ““This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” To the question of how to show that one has “agape”, John’s answer is truth, action, and sacrifice.

In the musical Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye is processing his daughters’ desires to depart from tradition - the tradition that he and his wife, Golde, kept when they had an arranged marriage, meeting each other for the first time on their wedding day. Tevye asks Golde, “Do you love me?” which she deflects a couple of times before answering, “For 25 years I’ve washed your clothes / Cooked your meals, cleaned your house / Given you children, milked your cow / After 25 years why talk about love right now?” John would consider that a pretty good answer. “Here are all the ways I’m showing that I love you.” But that’s not enough for Tevye, who asks again, “Do you love me?” to which she responds “I’m your wife!” which is definitely not a good enough answer. When he presses one more time she mixes the practical and sentimental, which is perhaps where most of us land, in saying, “For 25 years I’ve lived with him / Fought with him, starved with him / 25 years my bed is his / If that’s not love, what is?” to which Tevye responds, “Then you love me!” They end the song telling one another of their love and then singing together, “It doesn’t change a thing / But even so / After 25 years / It’s nice to know.”

One of the most well-known passages about love is from Paul’s first letter to the church in Corinth. You’ve likely heard it at a wedding - it’s the text that contains, “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” Every “love” in that passage is “agape”. And in no place does Paul say anything about how love feels; he cares so much more about what love does. We have all at least seen what it’s like to have someone say they love someone else and then treat that person like garbage. Maybe you’ve even experienced it. We believe enough that the word “love” means something that we’re willing to take a lot more mistreatment than we should from someone who claims to love us, even if they don’t give us any evidence beyond words. But, it is in the action that we find the truth behind the feeling or proclamation. 

So how do we demonstrate love, “agape”, in truth and action and sacrifice? Sometimes it’s the little things. I got a text from a friend one evening who let his seven year old pick the movie for family movie night. His son chose Benji: off the leash which, according to my friend, was three minutes of dialogue followed by 90 minutes of dogs running around to electronic music. Not the movie my friend would have chosen. But that family sat there and watched that movie and that kid felt loved and seen.

Sometimes it’s harder. Much harder. I have a cousin who will be spending the rest of his life in prison. He takes no responsibility for his actions which means if he is released he will reoffend. And in talking with his sister, who is his closest remaining relative, she agrees that prison is where he should be. Her advocacy for his continued incarceration is how she shows her love for him - she doesn’t want the man who she knows at his best to go out and be himself at his worst. It is also how she shows her love for his potential victims - she doesn’t want anyone else to be hurt by him. Truth - she acknowledges what he has done, action - she speaks that truth and advocates for his victims, and sacrifice - she will never see her brother again outside of a prison.

We like talking about the warm fuzzies of love. Silly Love Songs spent five weeks at #1. As the song says, “what’s wrong with that?” And the answer is “nothing,” as long as we don’t spend all of our time at that end of the spectrum. We need the silliness, the lightness, of songs like that, of watching a silly movie with our kids, because it is part of our truth. But then we move deeper. If all we have are silly love songs then we aren’t prepared for the actual challenges of this life. And Jesus prepares us for the kinds of sacrifices “agape” requires when he said, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends… I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.” We are to have deep, profound love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance. This is what Jesus both shows us how to do and gives us the strength to do. To love not only in warm fuzzy feelings, but in truth and action and sacrifice. Amen.